Again, Help! Please? (Rant sorta)


So, the major story that I’m writing is kinda dark, depressing, and violent and has cuss words but I’m also really into and enjoy writing it. My mom, curiously, has asked if she could sometime read it.

Thing is, she’s religious (she supports LGBT people but isn’t like, rainbow obsessed or into gay parades and stuff. She has 2 gay guys friends and one of them she’s known since HS and is very close to him soooo…) but, she doesn’t like violence or cuss words. I mean, she’ll watch stuff like murder/war/crime shows and the Sopranos but if she knew that I were writing violent stuff with bad words. Well, let’s just say that she wouldn’t be THAT into the idea. And don’t get me wrong. I’d LOVE to show her my story since I’m working hard on it but I also don’t want her to get all dramatic and upset and pissed off.

I’m afraid that if she gets REALLY mad, then (not saying she WILL but it could happen…maybe) she might force me to stop writing or delete the story which would make me SOOOO pissed because then 10 entire chapters, GONE!

Here’s the thing about my mom.

She won’t let me wear PJ pants to school even though other kids do it and even some teachers, she won’t let me wear mismatched socks to school because it’s “inappropriate” or “childish,” she won’t let me say “Oh my god” or “That sucks” or “OMG,” and that stuff.
BUT she WILL let me get a tattoo which makes me mad and happy. She won’t let me do those small, innocent things BUT doesn’t mind me getting a tattoo. I don’t get her sometimes.

So, if she forces me to show her my story but I don’t want her getting upset, what should I do?

I also go to a youth group (though I’m a bit religion neutral. I don’t hate it, but I’m not very Christian either) and she asked me one day if she could read my story since she knows I love to write. I emailed her it and she said it was good. Then, the next time we met at youth group she again, said it was great but asked me, “Does your mom know that you write this stuff?” And I said no because it was kinda personal and she said that it was kinda “iffy.” It wasn’t even violent! It was a teen drama with some party scenes and a lot of teenage angst and some drinking. No sex or anything, maybe suggestive stuff but nothing that’s TOO out of there. I feel like she’s implying that I need permission to write this from my parents even though I was 16/17 at that time.

Also, I’ve shown my dad this mini-play and he said it was good, but I needed to lower down the cuss words to OH MY GOODNESS and not God. Though, it was a horror thing and it’s not very emotionally effective if a person is being attacked and a bystanders screams, OH MY GOODNESS! Now, that doesn’t sound very mature or emotional does it? I find that some cuss words can make a scene even more dramatic and intense depending on the material which is why I use cuss words because it adds more emotional feels. You know what I mean?

I want to write “mature” stuff since I’m 18 and should be allowed to but if my parents keep hovering over me all helicopter like or keep acting controlling then what should I do? I love my stories but my parents sometimes if not always make me have anxiety 24/7