(yes, I know I haven’t been on here for so long, but we can just skip all the excuses for now)
Last night, I opened my Instagram right before going to bed after a 3 second mini conflict with myself over whether I should turn my phone off for the night already, or not.
Anyways, so I viewed a classmate’s IG story and saw that she was with several other classmates, and looking at her other stories, I deduced (and I was right) that she was in a party… that I wasn’t invited in.
Now, this isn’t just an ordinary party. It was a farewell party and a last get-together for one of our classmates (and a close friend of mine) who will be moving to another country soon.
Let’s backtrack a little. A few days ago, another close friend asked me, “hey, are you going to (insert name)'s despedida party?” (despedida is what we call those kinds of gatherings here)
I told her I didn’t know about it. Then I asked if she’s going. She didn’t answer directly, and it seemed like she was trying to shift the topic so as to not make me feel bad about not knowing about this party, that she knew about.
So there I was, feeling sorry for myself late at night, wondering why I wasn’t invited when all my other close friends were, wondering why I wasn’t included in a farewell party of a friend of nearly 5 years.
Do people actually not like me? Do they think I’m kill-joy? Do they not want me there?
Or is it because only the “cool” people were invited? Was it because the hosts of the party aren’t close with me? The latter reason seemed most probable, because they aren’t, but shouldn’t it not matter if the hosts are close to the guests or not, because the party is, after all, for the friend who’s leaving?
Seeing ALL of my close friends there without me brought me to some dark places, reminding me of thoughts I had before about how I don’t have true friends.
all. because. of. one. instagram. story.
and so without allowing time to rethink, I uninstalled all my social media apps and pledged myself to stay social media-free for the rest of this month. I’ve done it before for a week, and I really enjoyed it.
If it goes well, why not extend another month? I have a friend who’s done it for three months.
This post is getting too long for me to list the pros of doing so & why that was what I concluded, so maybe another time.
I’ll update you guys with my progress (?) perhaps after a week!
(or maybe not… if this is considered social media)