Kyra's Diary: Still Writing About Whatever


#21

Kyra, just wanted to check in on you… did you end up in class today? Looked pretty flooded from what I saw (not entirely sure where in sc you are). Do y’all have power?


#22

I’m in Rock Hill. There was heavy rain, dangerous winds and falling trees. Luckily, we didn’t get it so bad. A lot of places (including my school) lost power but my apartment didn’t. My sister’s fine. She told me it was flooded in NC and the roof from the marine lab was taken clean off, so I’m relieved she didn’t go back for another semester like she wanted. I came back to school today and we’re collecting food for Charlotte up until the 27th.


#23

That’s great! Glad y’all are all safe and you didn’t even lose power! I honestly think losing power is the worst part of these storms. When Irma happpened the worst part went through my town and we didn’t have power for almost a week.


#24

Confidence level: below 0% and very confused.

I have a test in bio 151 tomorrow and I studied/practiced the equations and calculator buttons but I have really bad test anxiety so I’m very likely to second geuss myself and forget something I studied over and over. The worst part is that my professor is the nicest person and a great teacher so I’m scared about being a disappointment.

You know how people say there are math people and there are English people? I don’t know if you believe that, but if you read my topics about school since I joined Kirstin Connect, you know I suck at math. This week I had a nightmare I forgot to study for a big test and the professor was my 8th grade math teacher who used to make my life miserable.

Unfortunately for Fiction, I think this is one of the times I’ve felt like the worst creative writer. I spent weeks on writing flash fiction (a story under 750 words which is very hard) and tomorrow I’m going through my first workshop and I’m scared about comments. So far everyone’s been pretty savage with the ones I’ve been through so far. Yeah, I know there’s nothing wrong with critics, but I don’t need that on the same day I think I’ll fail my first test.

Tuesday, I have a test in bio 150. It’s not easy but I decided that passing bio 151 is more important so I need to study that more because I really need that lab credit and well, it’s math. I need to study. So who knows how that test will go.

I haven’t had time to practice any of my songs for chior and although the class may be my release, I may have to stop next year or even next semester. I also quit auditioning to work more in class, I love theatre but let’s face it. My dad’s right, all the parts go to the popular kids. I don’t have “the voice” or “the looks” anyway.

I can’t pay attention in morning classes because I get home late and have too much work to eat or sleep. When I do sleep, nightmares continue or I have dreams that make me happy until I wake up. Worst of all, I’ve been lashing out at my parents after they tell me how proud they are of me in school and/or ask me to do chores after I’m done working and finally get to rest.

Overall, I’m sick of pleasing people and living up to thier expectations.

So today, I went to church, listened to music and watched tv, trying to forget about this week…


#25

Now I must balance the ugly negative post above with a positive. I love Avril’s new song and when she posted this…

I tagged my sister becuase talking to her over the phone keeps my “head above water”.

Now I tag all of y’all on Kirstin Connect. I :heart: y’all for putting up with me.


#26

I’m the opposite I’m a math person not an English person but I totally get that struggle. College is hard it can even suck but no one really will tell you that. My first three years of college (up till I switched majors if I’m honest) sucked. I mean y’all know about a couple of them. It’s ok that it’s hard. You can pass this test. If you’ve studied you’ve got this. Yes tests suck especially midterms and finals when you’ve got them in every class at once. But if you’ve studied then you’ve got it (coming from the girl that threw up on every state assessment in elementary school and threw up before the ones in middle and high and still panics before every major test). I’m here if you ever need someone to talk to. You can do this! As to giving up your release don’t. It’s important to have time to do what you enjoy. Budget time to force it to happen. If you don’t you will find yourself stressed and you will find your breaking point. When you make your schedule for next semester, try not scheduling morning classes. I personally refused to take any 8ams and tried to avoid 9am classes because I knew they didn’t work for me. Sleep is necessary. Maybe try forcing yourself to stop studying and go to bed at a specific time? I have an alarm set on my phone for midnight and force myself to stop whatever I’m doing and sleep at that point. I’m always here if you need anything! I think you have my number or email or insta or Facebook feel free to call or message anytime school stress and trying to please everyone is a struggle I 100% understand. I’ve realized lately that if I’m trying to please God that’s all that matters. Everything else will work out!


#27

Pretty sure I sucked the 151 test. Kinda over it.150 wasn’t as bad but I’m mad that all the hard chemical equation crap I studied wasn’t there. :rage: In choir we’re singing “Star Spangled Banner” at the basketball game. Yeah, the song that even stumps professional singers. Does that mean I can call myself a professional? :joy: :microphone: Okay, so what I’m really mad about is that I found out the other chior is singing songs from “Dear Evan Hansen” at our concert. Seriously, I’m still raw about my chior originally getting “Double, Double, Toil and Trouble” last year but our teacher gave that to the other chior. I pray for the day we get a Broadway themed concert. I’d know our hit: since I joined chior before every class one of us plays the piano and we all sing “Seasons Of Love”. Well, that and Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles”. It’s really fun to start that on piano. :joy: :two_hearts:


#28

Bio 151 - I GOT AN 84!!! All my equations were right! I can’t believe it! :grinning:


#29

That’s awesome!! So proud of you!!


#30

Awesome!


#31

I definitely agree with the not giving up the one release class you have. Don’t do it. I didn’t have band for a trimester and got the worst grades of my life because it was all studying and nothing creative. Now, I’m writing more because I know I need something creative that I don’t have to study for, I can just do.


#32

Yes exactly! I set aside a time before I go to be every night to read for half an hour for fun. I realized I wasn’t sleeping well and was constantly stressed when I was spending all my time studying but I thought that’s what I had to do. I started needing sleep and would get so grouchy because I was stressed and sleep deprived. I eventually realized allowing myself even just half an hour to do something I enjoy every day and I was doing so much better. My grades were even improving.


#33

So I’m expected to write a 10 page story for fiction writing. This week I only had to write 3 characterization sentences for homework but they were terrible. I don’t think I’ve ever had writer’s block this bad before. I think work and school just got me shutdown. My story’s due on November 28. I have plenty of time, but for early brainstorming help, what would you like to read about?


#34

here’s a prompt!
someone discovering who they are, knowing things about them are changing but desperately not wanting to accept it


#35


This might help?


#36

Thank you sis! :kissing_heart:


#37

I meant to write about this yesterday but homework. So yesterday was unexpected and nostalgic. My mom had job training in Columbia, so my dad made me take a personal day at school and go with them. I was like 12 when I moved from Columbia to Rock Hill so my Dad and I looked to see what we remembered. I remember the palmetto trees and we drove by neighborhood and the house I grew up in and moved out of at like 9 or 10. It’s looked so new and yet exactly the same.

We drove to sandhills which was a pretty popular place for us to trick or treat at a chain of stores and restaurants. Sadly The Piggly Wriggley is gone. We bought us lunch at our old restaurant Rushes which isn’t in Rock Hill. I was too young to pay for things when I lived at Columbia and I now know Rushes is reasonably overpriced. I dropped $20 and it still wasn’t enough.

But the best part was going to Kroger which also isn’t in Rock Hill and my dad loves going there every time he’s in Columbia. I also found the movie Waitress for only $5! It’s on my bucket list to see the Broadway musical someday and I haven’t seen the movie so for $5, why not? I haven’t seen it yet because. I want to finish most of my homework first. Nathan Fillion is Dr. Pomatter! But he’ll always be Castle to me.


#38

Omg!!! Jeremy Sisto plays Earl…I also watch Law and Order. Currently in the season reruns where he’s in it.


#39

Okay! I just finished the movie…LOVED IT!!!
:heart::heart::heart:
Me seeing the musical someday has got to be! It has to be! :sob::sob::sob:

Also, Andy Griffith and Keri Russell! :heart::sob::heart:


#40

Long week. It’s time to write…

I got an A in my 5 weeks of wood shop as part of theater production. I moved on to the costume shop where I spend 5 weeks learning how to make a backpack. Although I have no classes on Fridays, yesterday I had to go to school in the cold rain from 9:30 to 10:45 to get further on my backpack. This Monday is my last class and I fell behind. My dad scolded me the whole drive home for having to pick me up on a day I didn’t have to go to school and he had to work. Good news is the sewing machine behaved for me. Last time, the needle broke and the bobbin got tangled in the machine.Threading a sewing machine is harder than actually using it, but try using the pressure foot while wearing rain boots. I don’t think I’ll get an A here. I can’t believe I actually miss using a power saw. But anyway soon, I’ll finish in lighting and I’m stressed thinking about what I’m going to do. But it can’t be that bad since the lighting instructor was my instructor from theater design last year and she’s pretty chill. The one highlight of coming into the costume shop this week: I got to walk into my instructor’s class where she was teaching drag make up.

My biology 150 professor is giving us an unpredictable test in a short time. This weekend, I’ve clumped information from like 5 lengthy PowerPoint slides into one. I know everything and nothing at the same time. Sent in a study guide for my work study. It’s on Tuesday and I really want to watch the Wicked Halloween special Monday night…not fair. Spent yesterday and today writing a lab report for biology 151 on Monday. I spent the last couple of weeks in the woods counting hardwood trees in succession plots and treating my bug bites.

In the English department, I scheduled a meeting with my advisor for registration next week. Her last appointment ran long so we rescheduled for next Tuesday. This is the first time ever I haven’t made a schedule. Seriously I don’t know what I want to take or what I can take. I finished my writing exercise for fiction writing last night where I also read my first story for Monday about vampires who live as people in Italy and use lemons as a substitute for blood so they don’t attack people. This morning I read my second story for Monday about a school where everything and everyone dies. I finished with my fiction textbook reading about the terms, myths and blue moon.

My chior director gave us a practice sheet for Tuesday, which ironically makes me not want to practice. But he’ll be able to see if I opened the sound files he uploaded…oh the internet…

I’m okay, I’m tired, I’m sad, I feel eveything and nothing at the same time…I’m okay.